


Such a Thursday

by IaMcHrIsSi



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Jessica Cruz and Sam Buz show up, but it's really mostly a cameo, the story is really about Jason and Tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 07:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14420796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IaMcHrIsSi/pseuds/IaMcHrIsSi
Summary: “Alien invasion is a normal Thursday to you now?” Jason asks.“J.. Red Hood. Your best friends include an alien princess, an amazon, and a alien/human clone." Tim's voice is so deadpan Jason's kind of surprised it doesn't scare away the aliens.Or: Tim and Jason bicker. They're also fighting aliens, but the bickering is really the important part here.





	Such a Thursday

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me about the aliens. I don't know why they are attacking. And don't ask me about the other superheroes either. I just wanted an excuse to have Jason and Tim team up and bicker and be brothers.

“This is, like, some next level shit.” Jason states, firing his gun into the face of this... alien? Robot? Robot-alien? It doesn't go down, doesn't even seem all that bothered. Which is why he's doing head shots in the first place. He doesn't do head shots anymore, not since he promised B not to kill anyone, but it's the only thing that seems to be affecting these things, so head shots it is. Even though he can almost feel B's disapproving glare from half a world away.

Now the alien is shooting some sort of liquid pink energy, what the hell. He'd wanted to spend the day reading, but of course fate can't have that. Five shots, he counts absentmindedly as he dodges first the energy stuff and then a sword, and he doesn't have that much ammo on him. Better make it count.

“I don't know. Seems like a normal Thursday.” Tim says, beating one of the alien-robot things over the head with his staff. The alien doesn't go down. It turns purple, instead, and emits some sort of noise that might be a language. Or a scream. Jason's not sure how to interpret anything these aliens do.

“Alien invasion is a normal Thursday to you now?” Jason asks, and barely resists the urge to whoop when his shot finally downs the alien Tim was fighting. See how you like fighting without guns now, stupid bats.

“J.. Red Hood. Your best friends include an alien princess, an amazon, and a alien/human clone.” Tim's voice is so deadpan Jason's kind of surprised it doesn't scare away the aliens. Which are still surrounding them. B would tell them to stop bickering and start working, but really, bickering is half the fun here.

“I don't see your point. There's a difference between aliens being my friends and aliens attacking often enough that you consider it a normal Thursday. Especially when the aliens have liquid energy beams. Energy is not supposed to be liquid!” He tries to underline the point by kicking one of the aliens in the head, but the stupid thing is harder than he'd thought and now his leg hurts.

“You're … strange.” Tim just says, and Jason can feel him sighing. He rolls his eyes. He's not going to admit to being hurt, not in front of the Replacement.

“Where are your friends, by the way? We could totally use the back up.” Tim asks, twirling his staff in a flashy move that just screams Dick. Stupid acrobat and his need to show off, had to teach the kid some pretty move that does nothing but waste time. Not that the aliens sue the time it takes Tim until he is ready to fight again, but still. Principle of the thing.

“Kori's in New York. Something about her sister. I told her to call if she needs me.” Actually, he planned to go visit her tomorrow. Not that she can't take care of herself, but her sister is... difficult, sometimes, especially emotionally, so Jason thinks that she probably wouldn't say no to some emotional support. Even if it's just cookies and sarcastic one liners.

“And the others?” Jason almost starts cursing there and then. There's a slight hitch in Tim's voice, probably not noticeable to anyone but people who know Tim very well, but well... at some point apparently that became Jason. He's been hit.

“Artemis is visiting Wonder Woman. Apparently, there are some talks necessary about whether or not Wonder Woman represents Bana-Mighdall in the UN too or whether Themyscira and Bana-Mighdall need separate ambassadors.” Artemis had gone quietly. She'd been annoyed, Jason knows, because Artemis doesn't want to be the one to lead her people. She defines herself as a warrior, a protector, but not as an ambassador. But, as it happens, she is still the Shim'Tar and one of the most outstanding daughters of Bana-Mighdall, so she hadn't had a choice.

Jason shoots an alien that was creeping up on Tim, and then ducks to reload his gun. Artemis would definitively have preferred fighting some aliens over diplomatic talks. Tim spins in front of him, and he takes the second to try to figure out how bad he's hurt. Kid's favoring his left arm, so probably his shoulder. But he's still fighting, and he doesn't seem any paler than usual, so it's probably not that bad.

“And Bizarro is visiting Superman. Apparently, they both really like apple pie.” Tim snorts. Score. And it's not even a lie. Bizarro actually seems to like apple pie. And Jason swears he saw Clark eat enough of it to qualifiy it as the mans favorite food.

“What about your friends? You have lots of them, too, don't you?” Jason's not bitter, really. He's never had that many friends, even back when he was a Teen Titan himself. He likes it that way. But still, if Tim is grilling him on his friends, then Jason can totally return the favor.

“Wonder Girl's with her mom, and the others... well, they are all doing their own stuff, you know?” For a moment, Tim seems almost insecure. Which is stupid. The kid has lots of friends. If he called them, they would totally come. Jason shoots another alien.

“Well, we kind of will need a plan, or back up, soon. Because my ammo is running out.” And you're bleeding, he thinks, noting the dark patch on Tim's uniform, but he doesn't say it out loud. Tim wouldn't appreciate it, and Jason is not his replacements mom.

He _is_ his older brother, but, still. He's not sure Tim sees it that way, and even if he does, Jason is not the kind of person who says shit like that out loud. Not without like, a life or death situation or something like that.

Something hot and burning touches his arm, and Jason curses as he dodges. Serves him right for getting distracted in the field. B would have a long lecture about that, as would Artemis, for that matter, but Jason resolutely doesn't think about that. Better to focus on the alien trying to kill him here and now than to consider his probably angry father and pissed of team mate.

At least the alien energy stuff didn't just like, disintegrate him. That would have been really unfair. And stupid. And shit, but it kind of really hurts. He lets himself fall the the ground, kicks the alien where the knee would be in a human in a move Talia taught him years ago. Then he rolls and jumps back on his feet, and that one's a patented bat-tactic. Sometimes, he thinks about his life and just wonders how much shit fate throws at him, but right now there's aliens.

A shot to the head, and the alien goes down. There's no discernible wound, but the crystal on the things helmet is shattered, so maybe that's the trick. A quick glance to Tim shows the kid still fighting, looking kind of tired and in pain, but they're vigilantes, looking like that comes with the territory.

“Try hitting the crystal, it made mine go down.” Jason calls, and gets a terse nod from Tim. No smartass comment. That's not good. Tim's not Dick, who has like, a pathological need for chatter, but usually, there's at least a comment. At least there is when Jason offers advice. Maybe that wound on the kids shoulder is worse than Jason had thought. Jason's arm probably is. He doesn't really want to look. He liked this jacket.

Three minutes later, and a green glow shows up. Jason sighs. Finally. He doesn't even want to know what took the Lanterns this long. A green barrier forms around Tim and Jason, and then a giant green hand grabs all the aliens. Which... does look pretty awesome, but like hell will Jason say that out loud. Instead, he turns to Tim.

The kid leans back against a large piece of debris, not quite sitting down. His eyes are open, but he kind of looks like he's sleeping anyway. Jason pushed down the urge to feel for Tim's pulse and instead focuses on the kid's chest, feeling relief flood him at the steady rise and fall of it. Not that he really thought the kid was dead, or anything like that, but still. Better be sure. Red Robin's still a Robin, and nobody knows that Robin's can die as well as Jason.

Jason limps over to him. His foot still hurts from kicking that alien in the face, and his arm burns, and he thinks he could sleep for like, a week, but he has to make sure the kid is alright first. The dark patch on the red uniform worries Jason, but it appears to be the only wound.

“Time to go home, replacement.” He says. There's no bite in it, only habit. And maybe the wish to get a reaction. Completely silent Tim is unnerving.

The kid looks at Jason, and after a moment his eyes widen suddenly. Jason turns to look behind himself, gun raised on instinct, trying to find out what Tim was looking for, but there's nothing. Well, there's the Green Lanterns winning against the aliens, but nothing that would warrant Tim looking like that. Unless Tim hadn't seen the Green Lanterns arrive? That would mean the wound is much worse than Jason had thought, because if there's one thing the Lanterns are not it's subtle.

“You're injured.” Tim says, and thank goodness, he sounds mostly normal. Exhausted and slightly in pain, but only slightly, and definitively not dying. That's good. That's very good.

Only then it registered what the kid actually said. Jason closes his eyes for a moment, and then he forces himself to look at his arm. It looks... nasty. A bit of the energy liquid is still there, eating it's way through the leather jacket and the kevlar under it. Where it's completely burned off, there's a dark, angry burn mark, which is apparently using blood, but it's not that big. Probably will still hurt like hell once the adrenaline really leaves his body, but Jason kind of hopes that by then, the Lanterns will be finished with the aliens and able to give them a ride back home.

…. And he's definitively not going to think about the fact that he just thought of the manor as home.

“I'll live. What about your shoulder?” He asks. He's been silent for at least a minute, he realizes. The kid looks kind of really worried. Which is stupid, given that Tim is injured himself.

“One of them got me with a sword. Not too deep, I think, I dodged pretty quickly, but it'll probably need stitches.” Tim says. He's staring at the battle before them. It's not even really a battle anymore, the Lanterns have already won, it's just clean up. “And I need a coffee.” Tim says.

“Do I even want to know when you last slept?” Jason asks as he sits down next to the kid. He should probably like, clean the wound, but he doesn't have any first aid stuff with him anyway, and any attempt to touch his wound would only get dirt into it. Better to leave it alone until Alfred can look at it.

“Are you judging my sleeping habits? Is that what's happening here? Because let me tell you, there's a lot of stuff I could judge about your life choices.” Now he sounds like the replacement Jason knows, he thinks with a tired smile.

“Just saying.” Closing his eyes would be good right now. He doesn't even know how long they'd fought the aliens, or why they had to show up on that one day when every other member of the family is like, on super secret missions far away or in space or whatnot.

“Red Hood and Red Robin.” A woman says. Jason's eyes snap open, and within a heartbeat he's on his feet, hand settled on his gun. Next to him he knows Tim is doing the same. Only like, he doesn't have a gun, he has a staff. Same thing.

“You saved Gotham. Maybe even Earth.” It's one of the Lanterns, a woman with long dark hair. Jason's pretty sure he's seen her in the Justice League line up at some point, but he never really has anything to do with the Lanterns, so he's not sure. A Green Lantern is a Green Lantern, however, so he relaxes. B would have mentioned it if she was like, evil or anything.

“Yeah, that's the job.” Jason says, rather flippantly. He probably sounds like Dick. Interestingly, that thought doesn't make him want to bash his head against a wall. But maybe that's the exhaustion.

“What are those aliens?” Tim asks. Always the analytic. Although, Jason kind of wants to know himself. What aliens use swords and shoot pink liquid energy?

“They are from a planet lightyears away.We will take them back there, and make sure they are punished for their actions."The woman says, and Jason really wished Kyle was here. He hasn't seen the guy since their universe hopping tour, really, but at least he wouldn't beat around the bush.

“How did they even get here?” Tim asks. The woman turns to her partner, a black guy who keeps eyeing Jason's guns. Not like Batman does, disapproving and stern, but as though he wants one himself.

“Look, we're not just some stupid kids. You can just tell us.” Jason's aware this kind of makes him sound like a kid, but the adrenaline is leaving his body and he kind of really starts to feel his arm. And his foot. And his ribs, when did that happen?

The woman sighs. "There have been signs of activity around here that suggests they were invited by someone here on earth. The Justice League is already investigating it.” Great. Because calling an alien invasion down on earth is apparently what people do sometimes. But whatever, Jason thinks, if the League is investigating that means it's not really going to be his or Tim's problem.

“Can you give us a lift?” He asks. Tim is starting to look really pale, and Jason's not sure how much longer he himself can stay standing. Better get away from the battle ground before his legs give out.

The woman nods, and then she lifts her hand to her ear. Apparently someone's talking to her over coms. She winces, and Jason mentally goes through his left over ammo. If she looks this scared...

“Batman expressed his worry over the two of you.” The woman says, and Jason relaxes. No other aliens, just B being stupid. That's something he can deal with. “He wants you to come to the cave immediately, he'll be there in a few minutes. We are to escort you until the cave's entrance. Someone named Agent A will take care of things then.”

B still doesn't want the Lanterns in the cave then. Makes sense. B's always been a paranoid idiot. But at least Alfie will be there. Alfred is the best.

“Well, then off we go.” Jason says, and doesn't even protest when the woman picks him up. He just smiles at Tim, which hopefully comes of as reassuring and not, like, delirious with pain or something. The kid smiles back.

Could have gone worse.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, don't ask me about the Green Lanterns. I don't know anything about them, I just used wikipedia. Though they seem kind of interesting, so I might start reading more about them. But right now, I just needed a way for the aliens to be defeated.


End file.
